Wedding Day Thoughts | Beyond the Wedding Day | I'm Glad That We. . .
I feel funny giving 'advice' on how other people should feel, think,and act on their wedding day. So, FWIW, here are some of my personalthoughtsfrom my wedding day.
It was such an awesome, beautiful day. I was sad that the day had to end, but am so grateful for the many memories I have. We have no regrets about anything that happened or about any of the choices we made during planning. This was my litmus test throughout planning. If I was faced with a dilemma, I would simply ask myself if I would regret doing/not doing it. My method was tried and true throughout the wedding day!
Of course, there were some hiccups on the day-of, a few of which you can read about in my reviews. However, it was my wedding day and I was determined not to let these things ruin my day. When these things happened, I allowed them to bother me for about 3 seconds, took a deep breath, and then let go. I asked myself, 'Okay, _______ happened/didn't happen. What can I do about it right now, at this moment, and is it worth it?' The answers were usually 'nothing' and 'no'. Okay, so I told myself to move on, enjoy the rest of the day and focus on the things that do go well! And so many things didgo well!
In addition to not allowing things to bother me, I also made it a point to be gracious and behave such that I wouldn't upset those around me. I wanted everyone else to have a joyous, memorable day as well. I didn't want my family and friends to remember my wedding as the day that Nicole went Bridezilla and had a fit about every little thing that didn't go according to herplan. That would be awful and embarrassing. I suppose this revelation came to me during a wedding DH and I attended about 6 months before our wedding. For whatever reason, the bride and groom bothlooked absolutely miserable throughout the entire reception. This really set the tone for all the guests. It was a really strange and awkward reception that seemed to drag on without end, and I'm assuming it felt this way because of the bride and groom. I definitely didn't want this to happen to our guests.
A couple of weeks before the wedding, I made a conscious decision not to stake my happiness on how perfectly things went. I know I did a good, thorough job planning. At some point, I needed to let go. I knew things would happen regardless of how well I planned and it was out of my control. After getting way too caught up in planning every detail of the wedding a few times, I made it a point to focus on what the day was really about. It wasn't about how perfectly our ceremony and reception music was going to be timed, or about making sure that my table numbers were positioned correctly in their number holders, or about how nicely my corset-back was tied, it was about Brian and I becoming husband and wife and sharing our happiness withour family and friends. After thinking about it that way, none of the other stuff really mattered and didn't seem so important, afterall.
Lastly, I tried to make every moment last. The wedding day goes by so quickly! I've heard many Knotties say this before I got married, but you have no idea exactly what they mean until you're there! I just tried to soak in as much as I could, have FUN, and truly live in the moment.
I started to feel down, blue, and almost depressed in the days following the wedding. Wow, I had no idea I would have these feelings and it kind of freaked me out! I thought there was something wrong with me. I was sad that the wedding was over. My wedding day was so amazing to me. I had never felt as happy or as good about myself as I did on that day. And I missed it. Hence the sadness. But, I was thankful that I had these feelings rather than feelings of relief because my wedding day and wedding planning experiences were so horrible! Being able to look at photos from family and friends while I waited for my pro pics really helped. Being able to talk about thewedding with others made me feel a lot better, too.
I also felt a bit lost. I had wedding planning on my mind just about every day for the last year, and to be completely honest, I really, really enjoyed it. Although stressful at times, wedding planning was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. Suddenly it was all gone. It stopped so abruptly. Now what do I do? My brain needed to adjust to focusing on other things. Making my DIY Thank You cards and photo montage really helped immediately after the wedding. Not to mention having to write about 100 Thank You Cards in 1 month! I felt so much better after the Thank You cards went out. I'm now working on little things around the house, updating my bio, and still Knotting, of course. :)
Remember how I mentioned above that I didn't let the hiccups bother me on the day-of? Well, they started to bother me after the wedding, big time! I suppose I had time to process everything and since I'm such a perfectionist, I found myself picking apart the wedding and over-analyzing everything! I know it's probably because I'm on the Knot way too much and am exposed to so many different brides and their beautiful ideas and photos, but I started comparing my wedding to others and started to wish that my (fill in the blank) turned out as well as theirs did.
I know I said I wasn't going to give advice, but this is the only thing I want to stress:
Please, please, please don't ever compare any aspect of yourwedding to others, whether it be flowers, hair, or photos. Thankfully, I caught myself before heading too far down this path. Why should we wish that our wedding was the same as someone else's? How boring and uninspiring would it be if everyone's weddings, photos, and ideas were the same? I'm definitely glad I didn't have a cookie-cutter wedding. We should be proud of all elements of our own weddings and the things that made them uniquely our own, good and not-so-good. I know I am. :)
Had a Day-of-Coordinator
We had a family friend fill this role for us. I have a little something about her in our Reviews, as well. She took care of all the behind-the-scenes details such as answering questions from the banquet staff during our reception, arriving early at our reception to do the bar inventory for our open bar, and being the marriage license guardian. We had fullfaith in her and I strongly believe this is a big reason why we were able to be (somewhat) care-fee, relax and enjoy our wedding day.
Hired a Videographer
Check out our Videographer Review.
We've watched our video several times in the last month. Since we could only be in one place at a time, it was fun to see all the things we missed: family and friends laughing and having fun, the GM being absolutely clueless about where to sit at the head table even though his seat was clearly marked with a place card, and seeing our guests' emotions during the ceremony. It was also great being able to relive the special moments I do remember, such as the ceremony (obviously :P) and the absolutely touching invocation my baby brother gave at the reception.
Chose Our Battles
I suppose this is mostly regarding family, but it's also applicable to vendors. I'ma firm believer in sticking to your guns. I'm glad we were stubborn at times with the things that were most important to us. However, when it came to some very touchy subjects with our family, I'm glad that we compromised and gave in on a few things. afterall, we were all going to be family soon and needed to be able to get along and live with each other long after the wedding was over. Some things were not worth fighting over just so that we could be right and prove our point.
Made It Personal
I'm so glad that we decided to do some non-'traditional'/non-trendy things to make ourwedding personal. From my non-strapless gown to, what some described as, my funeral flower motif, I'm glad we decided to be a little different. I knew I didn't want to get married outdoors and many criticized our decision to have an indoor, chapel wedding, especially when they found out how much it would cost us. But, it's reallywhat I wanted and I think it added a unique touch to our wedding. Our Bamboo (first kanji character of DH's last name) and Chrysanthemum (first kanji character of my maiden name) theme really meant a lot to us and our families. We were able toincorporate our theme into our invitations, florals, cake, centerpieces, favors, table numbers, thank you cards, right down to our wishing well pens!
Did DIY Projects
Doing DIY projects allowed us to save money and gave us the flexibility to personaize our wedding. Our DIY endeavors included STD magnets, 'Will You Be My Bridesmaid?' card, thank you cards, table numbers, invitations/RSVPs/map, favors, wishing well, guestbook, and envelope box.
Did E-pics
DH and I were not used to being in front of a camera and thought that doing e-pics would be a great opportunity not only see how it felt to be photographed, but also to work with our photographer before the day-of. I cannot stress how much doing the e-pics prepared us for the wedding day! The e-pic session gave us a chance to see how our photographer operated and helped us get used to taking his direction. DH and I were so much comfortable on our wedding day than we were for the e-pics. I think we felt less stiff and more natural, and I think it shows in our photos.
